Sharons Blog

2008-03-11T14:00:00.000-04:00

Did I ever tell you....

...about the one legged homeless man I saw last week? Well, if I didn't, I'm going to now. As you know, I'm not the nicest person on the planet. I do not go out of my way to be nice to people. The other day at lunch...I'm walking down the street, and there is a one-legged homeless man sitting on the steps of a local business. I see homeless folks all the time, and I don't make donations unless they are playing an instrument (yes, even if they suck, I'll pitch in some cash). So at anyrate, I walk by this guy. And my friend stops me 3 feet away, and is like "OMG you just kicked over his change cup."

Yes I had. I had kicked over this guys change cup, spilling the contents all over the sidewalk. I was absolutely mortified. I felt so horrible you wouldn't believe. I proceeded to pick up every last cent that I inadvertantly spilled, and also, emptied all the change from the bottom of my purse, AND gave the guy my last buck that I had on me. After all that, I brought the cup to the man, apologized profusely. He didn't speak to me. He glanced at the cup, gave me a nod to place it on the ground next to him. That was it. So...my semi-good deed meant squat, unless, he was a mute and deaf or something. Yes, I still feel guilty over this incidient, and I would probly give this guy more money if I ever saw him again. Jewish guilt sucks. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I'm glad I gave up my New Years resolution 2 days into the new year, or I would probably have more stories like this to tell.

Being nice has gotten me no where. GRRRRRR

2008-03-09T22:00:00.000-04:00

HAPPY PISS ON SHARON DAY!!! I'd like to thank all of you who participated in this special event. The event was a true sucess. Hopefully, all the people who pissed on me today, will show up again next year, AND bring their friends too.

Sarcasm..one of the greatest things ever. Yes, today sucked bigtime. I'm still waiting for the next person to whip it out and piss on me. Grrrrrrrr.... It started of as a great Monday...I mean, I willingly got out of bed!! I mean, I did get a good morning text message from a special *friend*, so that helped...But...after that...all downhill from there. Hate to sound like a whiny chick but man, what could have went wrong did!!

I get to work...the office is boiling hot!! I got there before the HVAC kicked in too, so I had to wait a good half hour before I got some fresh air, and you know you can't open the windows in a high rise office building. You'd swear I was menopausal. (But, we know better now, don't we).
So after that, it gets better, I hear from my mother, the guy I live with. Open yer' mouth Sharon, I gotta piss.

Seems that I'm feeling better now, comic relief or sheer exhaustion, who knows. Here's to
a better tomorrow, and again, I'd like to thank you all for coming out to Piss on Sharon Day!!!

2008-03-04T09:52:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm....sounds like a great date!?!?!?!

2008-03-01T12:21:00.000-05:00

MASTERCARD

You gotta love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper andeven Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a large wedding with about 300 guests...At he reception after the wedding, the groom got up on Stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyonefor coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his Bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man' s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" Commercial out of this: Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends.........$32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion.....$3,000 Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui....$8,500 The look on everyone's face when they see the>> 8x10 glossy of the bride and the best man having sex..........Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD

2008-02-27T05:54:00.000-05:00

Open Mouth, insert foot

Yep...thats what I did today. I was sitting in a chair outside of Starbucks this afternoon. There was a woman sitting outside, who I see frequently, as she works in my office buiding. So she asked me about "weirdo # 2" who will be reffered to in the future as "Future Mayor of Hartford".

So she brought up the whole money thing...apparently this guy told her that he had a wad of money in his pocket. I told her that I counted it as he continuously played with it, and told her how much it was ($25)...At some point, I made a joke stating that he was probably on his way to or from the Gold Club (local strip club)...or from the Polo Club (local gay/lesbian bar)...

She didn't like that comment. I thought it was funny. She should have too, but she doesn't know me. At any rate, let me tell you about this woman...double take for you to realize that it is indeed a woman. She's very masculine, and probably a lesbian. I'm not here to judge, my sister is a lesbian. My favorite person is gay (Bruno the gay starbucks barista). I have nothing against that lifestyle at all. Whatever floats your boat.

Ok, so as soon as I finished the word Polo Club...she began to semi-lecture me about it being ok for people to be who they are....etc. Yea I felt bad, kind of. I don't think that comment was derrogatory in any way. I still don't feel bad enough to apologize, or explain my feelings about it....whatever lady. To each his own. Get a grip right.

So after that mini-lecture we continued to chat about this guy. Even she agreed that this guy was an a strange cat, she also felt that he was always bitching about someone, and that he should listen to himself. I think he should get a George (imaginary friend), who always listens, and never tries to talk. he he he.

Up until this afternoon I hadn't seen him since last week. Unfortunately, he was outside as I was leaving to go home. Thankfully, at 530, you can just say, sorry running late no time to talk. I'm sure he cursed me until I was out of sight, but I really didn't have time for his latest campaign speech. I'm not a Hartford resident!!!

2008-02-24T21:17:00.000-05:00

UMS

Also known as, USELESS MALE SYNDROME. Yes I'll admit it, I've been in a manhating mood these days...(gotta be b/c I've been dating lately)....but thats over... I can't handle dating and playing "the game" argh. blah.

So UMS is a horrible disease to have. Luckily us girls can't get it, but man, its hell to deal with. I am up to my ears with UMS sufferers. My son suffers from it. My boss suffers from it. My other male coworkers suffer from it. Its terrible. Its like umm "hello...shall I begin to breathe for you too?" Sometimes, men are totally fucking useless. When men are in remission of this disease, they aren't even nice to look at, no matter how hot they are.

So...I've compiled a list of symptoms that will tip you off to a relapse of UMS...when you see any of these, run, and wait it out. There are more symptoms to let you know that the relapse is over, and you can resume normal contact....

RUN if:

Can you...any question that starts with can you means, I'm useless and wont do it myself
Honey...see above, but note that its usually in a whiny tone
Why...any question that starts with why means, I dont like it, get rid of it.
When...can...BAD i.e. when you get home from work, can you make dinner

MISSED YOU SEX if:

Lets...any statement that starts with Lets means, you will be doing something TOGETHER
When...lets...GREAT i.e. when you get home from work, lets get some movies and hang out
I will, I have, I can...all forward thinking statements of things he plans on doing w/ or for you
Can I...see above.

My mental capacity to write this post has diminished, ever so much. And I apologize. It was going to be really good too!!!

Anyway...a little update, if you can't tell, I'm sick of dating, already, and its only been like what 2 weeks. I seriously don't have enough time to date. Its tooo much work, and I already have 2 jobs. And I'm a mom...I think its just because I'm not really ready for it all at once. I've gotta slow down a bit.

I went to a concert in NYC last night, at the Knitting Factory. I saw, MINUS THE BEAR. This band is totally awesome. I seriously lack the capacity for details....but I was hyped even for the freaking sound check. I know RM wants more. but damn, the song names don't really relate to the song...and they are pretty long as it is. It was awesome. I'm a music nut. That being said, I had a fantastic time from the first cord to the last... :-D good times good times. Got home really late though. But thats okay, I can live on 2 hours sleep...at least I am living on it right now.

Hey Barbie, CONGRATS. Email me details girl!

2008-02-23T15:14:00.000-05:00

TRIBUTE TIME!!

Seems like all I do is bitch about people sometimes. And I guess I take the most awesome people for granted some times too. So here is a tribute to someone that I haven't known that long, but I feel like I've known them forever.

There are so many fantastic things that I'd like to say to you, but maybe i'm too embarassed. I'm probly too embarassed to let you know what a fixture you've become in my life. I'm too independent to need a fixture. And I'm not talking about a chintzy light swtich, I'm talking about a grand wall sconce. (he he he). I guess you want to know what makes you so great huh? I can't really put it in to words really. I will try my damndest, but I'm not sure what its going to sound like.

Well. For starters, you are there. And thats the most important part! There when I need you, there when I don't. Seems as though your just waiting in the wings for me to need you, or just to shoot the breeze. I've shared more things with you than I've shared with anyone, not even my best friend. You are sooo good to me. I cannot even begin to reciprocate your kindness. I'm not that good of a person. I will never be as good as a person as you have been to me. NEVER EVER. I think I'm too selfish for that. Ok, I pretend to be selfish, but I'm really not, i just don't know how to give...

So again, I'm at a loss for words. And this sounds really fucking corny, but damn you fucking rock hardcore. You da' bomb. This is kinda sappy....but you get the idea. Don't You??

s

2008-02-18T08:46:00.000-05:00

BAR HOPPIN'

So I had a fantastic weekend....of course, I haven't been out bar hopping in a long long long long time. So, Saturday night, I went out with a girlfriend of mine. It was a total blast...However...did notice some totally bizzarre pick up lines....If thats even what you want to call them.

"Who lies more, women or men?" Seriously dude, you are going to approach two chicks, and ask that question? Ultimately, my answer was women...(Age, Weight). But that was beside the point. Men dont necessarily lie, they just leave out details. Whatever. So this fucking dude had to be the MOST ANNOYING pain in the ass ever. He repeatedly tried to take pictures with his stupid camera phone. He must have a really flattering photo of my hand. Anyway, he then says, "lets play Fuck, Marry, Kill". Granted, we are in a bar, with really lighting. I honestly can't judge this game based on looks alone. So that's definately out of the question. Now, he's like, so what are you for halloween, HELLO, I'm not fucking dressed up. AT ALL. I rebutted with "i'm a bitch" ;-) This guy had no clue. He ran off to go buy a drink, so my friend and I went out side to smoke. When we returned, so did he. Poor bastard. It was at that point, when my friend went into this long dissertation on how flies are annoying, and made the comparision between him and a fly. He didn't get it....We decided it was best to ignore him.

Whatever.....The bar scene really really isn't my thing. But it was fun anyhow. I must say, that some women really give us all a bad bad name. Bar bathrooms aren't the cleanest place in the world, but damn damn damn damn some chicks are just fucking disgusting. I'm not going to get into all the gory details. But lets just say, I would rather pee in a porto potty than in that bathroom. To add insult to injury, there was a girl in there, taking pictures of the disgusting mess....wonder if she's going to post it to her blog???

Carved pumpkins last night with Dylan. It was fun, and messy. Trick or Treat night tonite. I'm kinda dreading it, but at least the weather won't be totally cold.

Happy Monday!

2008-02-15T11:00:00.000-05:00

Guilty As Charged....again...

Yes. Yes, I am. Of what you ask?? Sunglasses as a HAIR accessory. I know sunglasses are a regular accessory, but when did they become a hair accessory? I love sunglasses. I own quite a few pair. And I cherish them. However, I have noticed that I use them to keep the hair out of my face - AKA - HEADBAND. It was my understanding that headbands went out with rainbow brite, circa 1988?? So here I sit, sunglasses perched atop my head. Hair out of my face. Its glorious. But I can't help thinking that they shouldn't be there. They belong on my face, where they are intended to go.

I used to criticize people for doing this, and yet, I've become one of them. I'm ashamed. But, I know that I'm not going to stop now. I can't. I'm addicted. I need my sunglasses all the time. Yes even at night. My crutch. My sunglasses.

Another thing I'm guilty of:

My clothing occupies every closet in my house (yes even Dylans). I have racks of clothes in my basement too. The clothes in the closet are soooo jam packed that if you some how managed to get the hangar off, the article of clothing would stay put - sans hangar. Its not that I can't throw anything out, or donate it...Ok thats what it is. I love my clothes. All of them. And I can honestly say that the fashions I possess aren't outdated. Timeless. I swear. I've run out of space. I'm seriously considering selling my house for one with more closets. I remember when I used to watch House Hunters on HGTV, how I would mock people who didn't buy a particular house due to the closet space. Closet space wasn't a factor when I bought my house. Now, I wish it had been. I'm thinking addition to the house, or sell for more closets..............

2008-02-12T13:21:00.000-05:00

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? any takers? he he he Happy Monday

2005-12-19T21:07:00.000-05:00

Bye Bye Blog.

Well folks, I bid the farewell. I get two hate comments, and I'm done. Nope, can't handle anonymous wish of death on my child. Those of you who have my email address, keep in touch. Its been great up until now. I've made some friends, and obviously some enemies. (Who could hate me?!?!?!?)

Thanks again for making this fun!

2005-11-21T09:27:00.001-05:00

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? any takers? he he he Happy Monday

2005-11-10T20:40:00.000-05:00

nothing to post about..

I've got nothing absolutely nothing. nothing even remotely interesting has happened to me...

I'm seriously at a freaking loss man. Its absolutely terrible. I can talk about the weather. Its cold. It sucks.

I guess I thought I'd let you know that I'm still alive and kicking.

;-)

2005-11-07T09:55:00.000-05:00

I wonder if there are any of these puppies left????

2005-11-02T14:39:00.000-05:00

HMMMMM...

DIAMONDKT said...
Sharon, I've got help for you.

Check out an older post of mine...

http://diamondktblog.blogspot.com/2005/06/public-or-private-rejectionhumiliation.html

It will tell you how to brush off these fools without having to get the dumbass to understand the concept of "you are not wanted/I'm not interested". His feelings won't be hurt, your time won't be taken up and the problem will resolve on it's own all thanks to the "services" offered in my post. Go check it out. ;)

So, I've read this post, and I've checked out some of the "services" offered. I find them totally funny. But I think I'm kind of selfish in my rejections. It was actually kind of fun rejecting this guy over and over again, and having him coming back for more. People that fucking dumb deserve to be humiliated face to face. This guy didn't ask for a number or anything. I'm not sure he even asked our names, but whatever. He was a pain in the ass. He deserved it.

I forgot to include in my last post "penis pump guy". Given the fact that we went to the bar on the Saturday before Halloween, people were all dressed up. My friend and I were outside and this guy came out, in costume. She and I decided he looked like a penis pump. In all actuality, he was a beer keg. But thats beside the point. He genuinly looked like a penis pump. So my friend decides to tell him that she couldn't figure out what he was dressed as, and then told him what she thought he looked like. Dude decided to say "were you raised by sheep?" I'm not sure I even get the relevance of that statement right now, and my never, but whatever. Guy continued to be a total asshole.

I'm not sure if you guys know this or not, but I like being LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. When I decided I want round and short to go away, I yelled "THANKS FOR BEING THE BIGGEST DICK I'VE EVER MET" ;-)

Fun is! :-D

2005-10-20T09:02:00.000-04:00

After a long break....

I'm just going to cut to the chase here...as soon as the temp gets below 60, the homeless people get a little wacky. In the summertime, they are still bundled up, coats, hats, scarves, gloves (whole finger ones), socks, socks, socks, earmuffs, sweaters, t-shirts, etc. That could be why they smell so bad...but whatever. As soon as fall comes, they like, ditch half of their clothing. Thats fine too, maybe they gave their duds to a less fortunate homeless person, who knows? But the thing that peeves me the most, is fingerless gloves! Whats the point, (for a homeless person to wear them)? I mean, when your out at the Turkey Day football game, the first things that start to go frozen are your fingers, and your ears, right? So why do they don fingerless gloves? When you really think about it if your picking trash and stuff to start, wouldn't you want your fingers covered to begin with? I guess thats just my view of it...

In other homeless news...the guy who's change cup I kicked over, smiled at me the other day. I was actually a tad frightened, but not really. I was shocked more than anything else. But since he was such a dick to me, I just kept walking!

The next guy I'm going to talk about isn't homeless, just unemployed, I think. I used to think he was homeless, but he has less clothing on than they do, so.... I'm actually convinced that he may live at home with his parents or something. This guy hangs out at starbucks day in and out, all day, everday, reading the paper and smoking ciggarettes. So he musn't have a job, unless its a night job, and wouldn't you want to sleep during the day? At anyrate. I'm on the phone one day with my sister, sitting outside, doing a touch-up job on my toe nails (painting them) and dude's like "Can I do that?" I'm like WTF, HELLL NO DUDE. He then proceeds to tell me that he could do a better job than I can...blah blah blah. I asked him to stop talking to me, but he didn't listen. So I leave. Next time I see him I'm talking to a girlfriend of mine about the night before's episode of Nip/Tuck, and he decides to join the conversation. However, now everytime I see him, he begins to talk about nip/tuck....I really don't obsess over that show that much... poor loser. So I'm still kind of confused, unemployed or homeless or just annoying?

In other news, Dylan can read much better now. I'm soo proud of him. But he won't call me mom anymore, he says "M-O-M". Kinda cute, actually its very cute. I've got my creativity back somewhat, and my motivation....so, cue the twilight zone music..."I'M BAAAACK"

2005-10-11T11:49:00.000-04:00

I'm Alive!?!?!?!?!?!

OMG - I'm a MILF?!?!?!??! Its come to my attention, that I'm a MILF according to RM! The post is incredibly sweet, thats why I'm utterly flattered about this. I'm speechless even. So at anyrate, here's the link to the MILF post. Thanks so much RM!!! Bowing (and blushing) gracefully!!

So heres the deal, I am alive. I am. I promise. I've run out of inspiration for the blog. I do miss everyone, even you Johnny. I come by and read your blogs...but stay silent, if for no other reason, that, I can't think of anything witty to add. It's a vicous cycle...life is...that is...I get busy at work, I'm busy at home. I'm busy all over the place. Thanks everyone for stopping by... Please continue to do so. I'm working on one hell of a post actually.... its about the homeless people that I encounter daily....its going to be interesting, as the weather is begining to change....

Regards,

s

2005-10-05T11:55:00.000-04:00

Saddam:
I'm bored!

(OK, in order to get the pics here I had to post them individually...time consuming. So comment on the top pic. It reads hilariously tho...and sadam was the red x, judge was the white space...

2005-10-05T09:55:00.000-04:00

Saddam:
I've got an idea! Let's play a game of Rock Paper Scissors!

2005-10-05T08:55:00.001-04:00

This Guy:
Can I Play?

2005-10-05T08:55:00.000-04:00

Saddam:
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-05T08:54:00.004-04:00

Saddam:
Will I choose Rock

2005-10-05T08:54:00.003-04:00

Saddam:
Paper

2005-10-05T08:54:00.002-04:00

Saddam:
Or Scissors

2005-10-05T08:54:00.001-04:00

Saddam:
YOU DON'T KNOW!

2005-10-05T08:54:00.000-04:00

Watban Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti:
Dude, say it, don't spray it

2005-10-05T08:53:00.003-04:00

Saddam:
WHATEVER. Let's play

2005-10-05T08:53:00.002-04:00

Saddam: ROCK!
Judge: TWO PAPERS!

2005-10-05T08:53:00.001-04:00

Saddam:
DUDE, WTF is two papers?

2005-10-05T08:53:00.000-04:00

Judge:
Two papers are better. Two papers cover the rock TWICE. That fucking rock ain't going NOWHERE

2005-10-05T08:52:00.004-04:00

Saddam:
I've got your two papers RIGHT HERE. NOW PLAY SERIOUS, ASS

2005-10-05T08:52:00.003-04:00

Judge: ONE PAPER!
Saddam: TIGER HAND! RAWR!!!!! RAWRR! rar. Hahaaa, hi. Tiger Hand. Come on! You Know! ... You don't know Tiger Hand?
Tiger Hand beats paper. Like totally beats paper. Always

2005-10-05T08:52:00.002-04:00

Saddam:
Ask Aziz, he knows

2005-10-05T08:52:00.001-04:00

Aziz:
Tiger Hand always beats paper

2005-10-05T08:52:00.000-04:00

Saddam:
I'm sayin' bro!

2005-10-05T08:51:00.003-04:00

Judge:
Okay, fine. "Tiger Hand" beats paper. Whatever you say Saddam. No more Tiger Hand

2005-10-05T08:51:00.002-04:00

Saddam:
HEY, CRY ME A RIVER, DUDE. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON'T KNOW TIGER HAND

2005-10-05T08:51:00.001-04:00

Judge:
Well, You should have picked honestly, then you may not have blown it

2005-10-05T08:51:00.000-04:00

Saddam:
You probably don't even know Pen Missile

2005-10-05T08:50:00.000-04:00

Judge:
Missile? What Missile?

2005-10-05T08:46:00.002-04:00

Saddam:
NYERMMMM. PEN MISSILE!!!!

2005-10-05T08:46:00.001-04:00

Judge:
Okay fine, I'm not playing anymore. There is no TIGER HAND and there is no PEN MISSILE. You're just MAKING SHIT UP

2005-10-05T08:46:00.000-04:00

Sadam: AM NOT

2005-10-05T08:45:00.000-04:00

Judge: Are Too

2005-09-30T09:42:00.000-04:00

FRIDAY EXPERIMENT:

OK, its Friday, I'm in a fantastic mood...(i didn't get laid either) whatever...Here's my experiment for today:

Bubble Wrap. I found a stash of bubble wrap in my desk, I've placed the said bubble wrap in a common area in the office, where everyone walks by & congregates...(and its within earshot). I work in a small office...this should be fun. I dont know why it will be fun, but it will.

I'm kind of evil, I put beer in the refrigerator at work (yes we can do that here). I'm going to see how long it takes for someone to drink it....

Today is scientific friday....Don't f w/ me or I'll turn you in to some lab rat!! :-D

Its starting to become fall here. Its awesome. Have a super fall weekend planned. I LOVE IT.

C ya Monday folks!

2005-09-26T20:43:00.000-04:00

Hi, How Are You?

Yea, I'm not answering that question. I know you are just asking for the sake of asking. I have come to the conclusion, that if you don't really care, then why ask? I don't say, "Hi, how are you" for the sake of small talk at all. I only ask the question if I truly care to know. I see a ton of faces daily. I see some of them numerous times daily/weekly/monthly. I still to say "Hi, How are you" Instead, I say, Good Morning, Afternoon, Have a nice weekend... I'd rather say something that doesn't require such a dragged out response. I'm not really sure if this is the New England in me or not. But I still honestly don't give a shit how you are.

It being Monday, I was greeted numerous times with the, Hi How are you, how was your weekend...etc. I just say, "Fine Thanks" I know thats kind of rude, to not return the favor, by saying "Fine Thanks, and You?" But honestly, in passing, you don't want to get in to an involved conversation. I mean, by the time the conversation is done, I'd be on my floor, and you'd be on yours, and we'd be yelling to keep it going. I just think its rude. Those who really need to know how I'm doing, have my cell phone #, email, whatever, and can contact me in private. RIGHT??

Whatever, I think I'm done bitching about that. The moral of the story is, keep it simple. I've also decided that I am full of useles information. Todays useless tid bit is this:

It is proper etiquette to let someone exit a building, establishment, whatever, prior to your entry, UNLESS, it is raining. If it is raining, you let the person outside enter.

2005-09-19T22:43:00.000-04:00

Your Birthdate: July 15

With a birthday on the 15th of any month, you are apt to have really strong attachments to home, family and domestic scene.
The 1 and 5 equaling 6, provide the sort of energy that makes you an excellent parent or teacher.
You are very responsible and capable.

This is an attractive and an attracting influence.
You like harmony in your environment and strive to maintain it.
You tend to learn by observation rather than study and research.

You may like to cook, but you probably don't follow recipes.
This number shows artistic leanings and would certainly support an talents that may be otherwise in your makeup.
You're a very generous and giving person, but perhaps a bit stubborn in ways.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2005-09-19T11:57:00.000-04:00

REAL POST.....

I guess its time for me to write a real post huh...I guess I've been throught the whole I'm very busy thing, which is definately true. Dylan is in first grade now, so keeping him in check is my first priority! I must admit, he is doing sooo much better in school (behaviourwise) since I requested that he and the little devil from down the street never be put in the same class again!! It got to the point where I thought I would have to sell my house and move to get them out of the same class!!! I have also been working a lot, like 6 days a week! At least I can bring dyl in on Saturdays. he loves it! I've actually been kind of dating too....its all your fault people!!! :-D So I went out w/ hot construction guy for lunch today. It was nice hanging out with someone who kind of understands my life a little bit...

...I'll give you some background on hot construction guy...he's in his early 30's, has been divorced, and has 2 daughters. Now before you go and grab the airport baggage thing, to help him lug it around...its not that bad. He seems to know what he wants, which is important. I mean, the only reason I went out with him in the first place is because at one point (pre date) we had a conversation about our kids and how hard it is to date...apparently he has dated women who are very quick to say, "let me meet your kids"... Yea, not happening. Like I've said before, you gotta be something special to meet my boy. So right away, I'm like wow, someone like myself, protective of their children. So we went to lunch. Hung out, chatted about work and shit. Basically thats it!!!

So, today I have volunteered to help my friend re-grout her bathroom! This should be fun!!! I've done this in my own bathroom before, so it shouldn't be that bad. I'm such a good friend! :-)

What else??? I got the most awesome email from a friend of mine far away! He sent me an email, with a song attached, and the lyrics to the song. The song was "Island in the Sun", by Weezer. (Side note, I hear they may be calling it quits). So when I got to work, and read the email, and it immediately brings a smile to my face. I like the song...and more imporantly I like the sender. Its always awesome to know someone is thinking of you!! Made my entire weekend! I want to publicly thank you...and you do know who you are ;-) Hearts babe!!

2005-09-15T20:45:00.000-04:00

I'm full of laughs these days!

2005-09-13T12:01:00.000-04:00

I'm Cheating Today......here's a funny email I got today:

A Male Point of View

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT???!!!
What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them
all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get
a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

My two cents: I can shop for hours, then deicde I don't want/need any of the stuff in my hand, and leave!!!!! :-D

2005-09-12T08:21:00.000-04:00

Weekends ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a fantastic weekend. Kicked it off right by not working on Friday (I'm paying for it now, but thats beside the point).

I didn't do much of anything but hang out w/ Dylan and my neighbors. They just had a baby last Wed. So I got to hold a 2 day old!! No, I didn't get that warm fuzzy feeling to have another one...wait...I can't conceive by myself. It was nice. That new baby smell. Its funny how babies come out smelling like that.

I consumed many margaritas on Saturday. I do remember that much ;-). So drank, and hung out by the fire. Its getting to be fire weather. LOVE IT. So between now and the first snowfall, you'll definately know where to find me...sipping something containing alcohol, by the fire. I've burned my fingers a few times...lol.

Sunday...I was a house slave. Had to dust, vacuum, strip beds...blah blah blah. Thats relatively it guys...sorry I'm kinda boring!! :-) But, I did pick up my kid's halloween costume. I'll give you a clue as to who/what he's going to be...

"krrrrrrrrrra"

ANY WAY - HAPPY MONDAY. The beginning of another work week!

2005-09-10T21:10:00.000-04:00

Nope, No hurricane post. Just thought I'd let you all know...enjoy the rest of the weekend!

2005-09-08T22:06:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday!!!

Happy Friday folks!! I will be out of the office in the morning...going to New Hampshire. Will be back about 2pm if I don't ditch the afternoon, and hit up Boston instead! Haven't decided yet!!

At any rate...I've been sucessful at avoiding writing a post about, you know, the national disaster!! I guess, up until now...someone talk me out of it. Please talk me out of it before I post it. I'm giving all of you a chance to tell me not to.

So please talk me out of it. If your reasoning doesn't fly...be prepared for Monday!!

Enjoy the weekend!

2005-09-07T12:04:00.000-04:00

CAPTION CONTEST WINNER:

RM. he won by a landslide of 3 votes!!! His caption was:
"Just checking to see if you were alive, you take forever on every tee."

Other shit:

I'm incredibly busy these days. It sucks to be this busy!! But I do have a little postette:

Labor day has come and gone...I spent my labor day, sorting through my summer clothes and shoes, telling each item how much I will miss them, and reminisce of the fond memories we've shared during the summer months. I put them away carefully, in my cedar closet, not to see again, until next year! :-(. This was a bittersweet affair. While I was saving the summer, I got to take out the fall and winter items. It was a joyous reunion for all!!! Boots boots boots boots boots!

Thats all folks!

2005-09-05T09:53:00.000-04:00

LIST THIS...

In an effort to prove that I'm not a nutjob, (or maybe just reinforce that thought), I've made a list of x things that you don't really need to know about me...

1. I use the "F" word often
2. and dude
3. and whatever
4. I work approximately 70 hours per week
5. I love my job
6. I'm a southern gal at heart...born in CT, moved to LA when I was 10. LA will always be home to me
7. I have 2 tatoos
8. My son is my life
9. I love spicy food
10. I've been out of the country twice, once to Mexico, and once to Canada
11. I love peanut butter and Fluff
12. I'm the queen of tasteless jokes
13. I go to the gym daily
14. I wear contact lenses
15. I love Nip/Tuck
16. I'm not here to be liked
17. I say what I mean and mean what I say
18. I'm frugal
19. I plan on retiring when I'm 36
20. I'm a Cancer
21. I'm Jewish
22. I trust my horoscope
23. I'm an obsessive/compulsive cleaner (seriously you could eat of the floor in my house)
24. I'm a little too honest sometimes
25. I don't wear make up
26. I love to read, no matter what it is...must be why I love blogging
27. I like it when the seasons change
28. Sunflowers are my favorite flowers
29. Orange is my favorite color (really, I bed you did'nt know that)
30. I try to be sincere
31. My favorite food is boudin
32. I make the BEST bowl of cereal you've ever eaten
34. I multi-task
35. I'm not getting "any", I don't really try to either...
36. I abhorre talking on the phone
37. I miss my brother very much
38. I had a twin sister
39. I wonder what it would be like if she hadn't died as a baby
40. My Mom makes me nuts
41. But I do love her
42. I lack compassion
43. But I am very passionate
44. I think I'm falling in love
45. But I am not to sure
46. I skipped 33 intentionally
47. I love to sleep
48. I live in CT, but watch the NY News
49. I'm done...but don't forget to vote on the caption contest!!

2005-09-01T16:27:00.000-04:00

LET THE VOTING BEGIN...

1. "If it was only really this long"
2. "Bill got ready to try our his new life-size foosball table.."
3. "Man, How did you get this up your ass in the first place?"
4. "I think you are a quart low"
5. "If you don't hit a straight shot, this club is going right up your ass"
6. "Vijay, a tick in the ass is good for 2 strokes a side."
7. "Excuse me, you had a fly on your ass"
8. "I'll show him not all white guys have small dicks"
9. "Just checkin' if you were still alive, you fuckin' take forever on every tee!"
10. "FORE"
11. "Peter tees up the new Nike design. As Peter got ready to swing, someone at the last hole shouted "FORE", too bad, Peter missed and nailed his life partner in the ass."
12. "Ummmmmm...Putters"
13. Guy walks into a Bar with a Golf Club stuck up a Black man's butt... the Bar tender says... "Excuse me buddy... but we don't serve your kind in here!" so the black guy says... "I'm sorry Mister... I didn't realize this was that kind of Club!"oooooooookay nowhowz 'boutNow Mr. Smith... when I agreed to be your "Driver"... this is NOT what I had in mind!"nooooooooooLast try... Termite walks into a Bar and says... "Excuse me... but is the Bar Tender here?"
14. Is my dick on diet these dayz??
15.Are you sure an enima wouldn't get it out easier?
16."I believe it's time for your annual rectal exam"
17. just like daddy used to"

LATE ENTRIES:

18. "I wonder if I can put my 9 iron in there"
19. Hey! A hole in one!

VOTING WILL CLOSE AT 9AM EST TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 6, 2005

HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A FABULOUS LABOR DAY WEEKEND

Vote away folks....Anonymous votes WON'T BE COUNTED!!

2005-08-31T11:11:00.000-04:00

CAPTION CONTEST

Alright folks...I'm taking the easy way out due to bloggers block. Please enter a caption for the above photo, in the comments section. In a day or so, I'll have a vote for the best caption, and post it here. Winner shall receive:

2 Round Trip Tickets to New Orleans...must use within the next week!! (I have a really weird sense of humor, and make tasteless jokes, like the above)

SUBMIT YOUR CAPTIONS, YOU CAN SUBMIT MORE THAN ONE IF YOU'VE GOT MORE VOTING BEGINS WHEN I DO THE VOTE POST! WHICH WILL BE ON THE EVENING OF 9.1.05

There is no real prize in this caption contest. Just knowing that fellow bloggers admire your creativity is prize enough in itself.

2005-08-29T08:12:00.000-04:00
JELL-O SHOTS ARE BAD...

OK, not really, I guess I should say, orange jell-o shots are bad. Ok not really, I am really bad when it comes to jell-o shots. I have this rule, if someone makes me orange jell-o shots, I will, ummmm eat them? Yes I do, I consume them. Jell-o isn't quite food, but not quite drink.

Throughout the summer, my friends and I have been having moving parties. Each week the party is at someone elses house. Last week it was my turn (whooo hooo it rocked). At anyrate, I made it a point to have the drinks that my friends enjoy. I'm not sure how this weeks host knew that I love orange jell-o shots. But, she did. So I was constantly being handed a tray of orange jell-o shots. My obsession with orange continues. I do not share anything orange. It is mine, and mine only. So tray after tray after tray, I consumed them....

I actually started drinking very very early in the day...yes it was 3. So by the time I hit the party, I was already buzzing hardcore....(my drink of choice that afternoon was Absolute & Iced Tea...btw its great with the Absolut Citron)...so prior to heading to the party, I grabbed some chinese food, and proceeded over....(fried won ton's really helped the buzz go away...temporarily).

So basically thats how the evening began. Once at the party we played dominoes and had more mixed drinks...I also had like a watermelon martini (made w/ vodka, not vermuth)..whatever...We played the fish game...you know, someone starts out w/ a story, and each person it gets told to embelishes just a tad...It was a great time. Good thing this party was only 3 streets over from my house. I walked home...I wasn't going to drive in that condition ya know. I'm soo responsible!!

Oh oh oh...one more thing, I woke up sans hangover!!!!!!!!

At anyrate, in honor of jell-o shots and absolut..I would like to know your favorite party drink???

2005-08-26T06:50:00.000-04:00
ROAD TRIPPIN'

Yesterday sucked. I'm very bummed and stressed these days. After a long day at work, on my lovely commute home...I seriously considered just driving forever...

The sun was setting, it was rather beautiful. I had the sunroof open, the windows open, the radio blaring it my ear. It was awesome. I seriously felt, that I should just keep driving. I swear, there were signs telling me to keep driving...every song I heard had this underlying theme, to just go away. Far away....

I considered it. Rather seriously. Of course I would have went home and grabbed Dyl, and some necessities. But yea...I didn't. So here I sit on my couch, writing about my could have been adventure.... I don't think I had a destination set...but my sis and bro in law are in AZ these days...I miss them loads. It totally sux that they are so far away.

Its not her fault. I'm pretty sure I just need a vacation from life. It never ends. Someone once told me that life gets in the way of living...I think that's what happening. But I'm going out to see them soon. Can't Wait.

Sorry for bitching...I haven't felt like that, ever!!!!!! I have never wanted to just up and leave my life before.....

2005-08-25T09:05:00.000-04:00

Dammit Mom!

2005-08-25T09:04:00.001-04:00

I'll Huff and Puff and blow out my candles.

2005-08-25T09:04:00.000-04:00

Birthday Boy!

2005-08-25T09:02:00.000-04:00

I think this one is worth sharing....

2005-08-23T09:10:00.000-04:00
Party at the bosses house....

Was a lot of fun! I am struggling beyond belief to keep my eyes open and to focus on blogging...wait, I mean work.

So it was a great time. Everyone brought their kids and spouses. Everyone got along great (kids)... the adults too. It was seriously a really fun time.

No one really embarrased theirselves (that I can remember). Ok...there is a funny little story that I can tell...

There were sliding doors into the house from the patio. We were all outside, and the kids were all running around all over the place. The kids decide to go in the house... so one after another they go running into the house. The second to last kid (can't remember which one), shut the door behind him, and there was another kid running in...(you can sooo tell where I'm going w/ this)...So yes, he smacked into the door at a relatively high speed, (It was a screen door), so he bounced off, paused, and went into the house.

I've been laughing about that the entire night. I laughed about it in my sleep even.

Again, I reiterate what a great time it was. Luckily I work with a wonderful group of people, who drink alot... ;-). FYI I had two rum punches, that was it....had to drive a long way home.....

2005-08-22T11:51:00.000-04:00
RITCH75 Bitched about the Orange...

I love Orange. A lot. I've played w/ some other colors too, but orange is my favorite thus far. If you really don't like the orange, let me know, and I'll switch to yellow.

Anyway, Had a great weekend. Had a great party. Slept until 6pm on Sunday. :-) I can't wait to sleep that long again!

Nothing noteworthy to post about today....yet. Happy Monday folks. Big party at my bosses house tonight.

2005-08-19T13:24:00.000-04:00
FUCK Me I've been Tagged by Rebecca (hey, still love ya though)

List five songs that you are currently digging - it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions and the five songs (with artist) in your blog. Then tag five people to see what they're listening to.

Here is my list of the songs I am currently digging:

1. Linkin Park - My December
2. Chevelle - Vitamin R (leading us along)
3. A Perfect Circle - Outsider
4. System of a Down - B.Y.O.B.
5. Danko Jones - Lovercall

I'm tagging:

-rm
Zombie Lama
Justanothernickname
Ritch75
Jenn (new to her, but she's got a kick ass taste in tunes)

2005-08-19T06:57:00.000-04:00
Weirdo # 2 I know his name, but for my safety, I'm not posting it. ;-)

Ok...today at lunch, I met a friend over at 'bux prior to heading out to eat. I was there first, so I sat down and waited for her to arrive. She rang my cell to let me know she'd be late, I said cool.

So I sat there waiting for her. You can guess what happened next. He introduced himself as the next Mayor of Hartford. (One time last week he told me I had a gorgeous dress on. I thanked him as I hauled ass to my car, but this time, I was stuck).I apologized to him b/c I don't live in Hartford, so I can't vote for him...Anyway...He also said that he's back in town because his mother is dying of cancer. I felt bad for him. Hes there with the latest copy of National Geographic started talking to me about the killer jellyfish of the coast of Australia. I paroused the article, and he kept talking. I swear I know more about this guy than I should.

He was smoking a $10 cigar that he bought in celebration of his new apartment. He can't afford to buy these cigars everyday because he's poor.

But he has a job. He's an artist. He paints portraits of people.

He went to college for painting. He went to several colleges that can't recall the names of.

He followed the Greatful Dead for 2 years. He got caught selling marijuana at a Dead show and spent 2 years in prison.

While in prison his cell mate was a genious, a physicst who killed his wifes lover.

He used to work at a hotel in Vegas as a security guy.
He is 33.

He reads books. Lots of them. I wrote down the names of some of them. One was about sitting...meditation. something. He had to hire someone to move his books into his new pad. He has over 2000 books. He is currently reading 4 of them. After he's thru w/ hard covers, he sells them on ebay, or donates them to the library.

He only talks to women, not because he's a perv, (HIS WORDS I SWEAR), but because they are smarter.

Has a daughter who is 3.

He is divorced for a reason.

He is caught up between evolution and creation (so am I).

Informed me that Condoleeza Rice is a former Figure Skater. I didn't know that.

Doesn't watch network televsion. Watches PBS.

Loves films. Not renting, but loves to see films, in the movie theater.

Had exactly 25 dollars on him, 5 singles and a 20 (he kept on playing with his money, so as he played, I counted lol)

OK, so sometime in the middle of this, my friend walks out of Starbucks. Immediately puts her phone to her ear, and walks right by me!! OMG. I hate her for that but whatever.

For some reason, the conversation that this guy had w/ me (I couldn't get a word in edgewise), was interesting. But seriously, do I have a sign on my head that says, please freaks, talk to me I like it? I get some of the strangest people approaching me. Again, this conversation was interesting. I guess I like hearing what other people have to say. Oh, yea, he also said that most people are assholes and thanked me for my time. 15 minutes later, I was heading back upstairs, with the fresh copy of Nat. Geo. He he he. I love that Mag.

As most of you know, I'm really not here to be liked. I'm generally not nice to people at all. I'm still not sure why I sat there and listened to this guy. But I did. Maybe because people intrigue me. I'm obsessed with human nature. Really, I am. Ok, I'm trying to figure out the connection between starbucks and strange people. OMG am I one of them? he he he...

2005-08-18T00:34:00.000-04:00
ODE TO WARD

Seems our friend Ward has gone into early retirement from blogging. As posted in his retirement post, all good things must come to an end...so Ward...this is your blogging eulogy...

Ward Applewhite's blogging life came and went quickly. The first day he was here, he made his presence known. I believe it started with a drunken post, then moved on to an interview, then to the quizzes which made him famous here. I think more than the quizzes, we liked Ward.

He was kind with his words, he made us all laugh. He made blogging a bit more fun than it already was...And then came the Truth or Dare game. We were all hooked after that. Like Wards blog was cocaine and we were all addicts.

During this time we got to know what made Ward tick...women. Beautiful Women....AP and all her friends, and Barbie...Its all listed somewhere on his former blog....have a look.

We will miss you Ward. We've enjoyed you hanging out with you. We've enjoyed getting to know you, and playing games together. We've enjoyed the truth, and enjoyed the dare...Now we say good bye, because we care.

Miss you Ward!!!

2005-08-17T10:02:00.000-04:00
TODAY IS DYLAN'S 6th BIRTHDAY!!!

I'm extremely bummed today. I was crying this morning. I can't believe my boy is 6 and starting 1st grade. I'm getting old... lol...

So...at this time 6 years ago.... I was on day 3 of an induced labor. I had been in the hospital for a few days, trying to rid myself of the spawn growing inside me (he he he). It was terrible. I swear that even the janitor knows about the mole I have down there. When you have a baby, nothing is sacred. I mean, I felt violated everytime I've had to go the ob-gyn anyway. But when your in labor for that long...everyone and the janitor gets a peek....whatever....

Lets talk epidurals. I had like 4 of them. I was going to go natural....but my nurse advised me that since I was being induced, that my contractions were going to be worse than if I had gone into labor naturally. So I'm like ok fine. Next thing I know, she's like don't move. Thank G-d she had great big boobs man. She kindly stuck my face in her cleavage so she could insert the needle. lol... Live savers I swear. If you move when they are trying to stick a needle in your spine, you could end up paralyzed. That's not what I wanted to happen. After that I couldn't feel my legs. Kinda sucked.

My labor began to progress...and progress...and progress....I'll skip through 2 days of the same shit....So here we are 8/17/99, at day three. I don't give birth until 712 PM. at about 4 in the afternoon, my doc breaks my water. (That hurt!!!!), and he decides that we should go head and get the boy out. After having every kind of tool stuck in me that you could imagine (dyl had a huge head, and he wasn't exactly in the best position for birthing), he still couldn't come out. At this point, his heart rate drops drastically, and so did mine. Dyl and I almost lost eachother :-(...
They decide I needed an emergency C-section. YAYYYY. not. So they cart me off to the OR. Cut my stomach open (there was a barrier, so I couldn't see much, but what I did see)...took my organs, and plopped em on the side of my stomach, cut open the womb, and removed dylan. Kidna weird to see my intestine just hanging out.....

They showed me my baby, and whisked him away to be cleaned up and examined...just to make sure that he was ok, due to the trauma from labor and delivery. The next part sucked so bad. they stuffed my insides back in, stitched and stapled me up, and shipped me off to recovery. Now, after all the epidurals, and the gas they gave me when I was in the OR, I'm laying in recovery, having the shakes, not being able to move or see anything but the ceiling. The recovery room is soooo cold. I was mortified. Just laying there, not being able to do anything but shiver....

A few hours later, I'm carted off to my room, where I get to bond w/ my boy. The next minute was the best minute of my life....

So heres to you Dylan, and the beginning of your existence. happy 6th birthday!!

2005-08-16T09:46:00.000-04:00

My Boy. He looks really skinny here, but trust me I feed him....a lot

2005-08-16T09:45:00.000-04:00

Me & My Pooch

2005-08-16T09:44:00.000-04:00

Fiona again - looks stoned...but I swear she's not. Sometimes she doesn't photograph well! I think this pic is incredibly funny.

2005-08-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

My Pooch - Fiona (as in princess)

2005-08-15T09:02:00.000-04:00
Any single moms out there - post your thoughts - I can't be the only one out there!! Thanks!

Single Parent....

I was reading over at The Zombie Lama's place, and he posed the question (part of the interview game), to someone whether they think its easier being a single parent. Even though its not my question, I'm going to answer it.

YES!

I myself come from a single parent family, however I've been exposed to the alternative. As a single mother of one, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I truly believe my son is better off. He gets male influences from family and friends. But I am the main role model in his life. Which isn't so bad. People may think my life is boring, but I enjoy the bikerides with my son, I enjoy the bedtime stories. I even enjoy it when he begs me to stay up later than his bed time...I'm not a softie, I don't give in, but I like to know that he enjoys spending time with me as much as I do him. He's perfect. I get home from work, and he says, Mommie, what kind of fun stuff do you have planned for us today? I like that. Although, there are two million and one things I need to get done, I'll take my time and think of something to do with him - yes he enjoys washing my car too!!

I feel its easier on the child, b/c there is a one-step approval process, versus the two-step parent approval process. If he wants to do something, he asks me, he doesn't have to ask me, and I say, Lemme check with your father...blah blah blah...or the famous parent cop-out "ask your....". I hate that. I'm soo glad I didn't have to deal with that. I give tons of credit to folks who raise their child(ren) singlehandedly. It is tough at times. and there are times when I wish my son would SHUT UP, and let me sleep for 10 more minutes. But we get over it, as soon as the coffee is made...(bonus when he tries to make it for me).. I think there are a lot of things that people miss out on in dual parented homes. I am sure that if it weren't just Dylan and myself, I wouldn't know him as well as I do, and he wouldn't know me as well as he does. My son is a great kid, and according to him I'm "ususally a good mom." I can live with that.

What do you prefer?

Happy Monday.....

2005-08-12T09:21:00.000-04:00
Yea, I'm being lazy today...

In the spirit of the interview game...(and how fucking lazy I am b/c I dont feel like thinking up new questions for everyone)...Here are the questions that I'm asking...feel free to answer them in the comment section, in your blog...wherever....

1. Name your state.
2. Favorite thing about the opposite sex. (not necessarily a body-part, just your favorite thing)
3. What is the first thing you would do if you were elected president, king, queen, emperor...etc.
4. Ideal Job (Not having to work at all doesn't count)
5. Would your rather a) Cheat and get away with it? b) Never cheat and have everyone think you did/are?

Thanks for playing. Happy Friday!!!!

I like the darker orange better!

2005-08-11T21:45:00.000-04:00
Questions for Zombie Lama:
(Happy Belated Birthday to the Zombling too)!!

1. What is your favorite thing about being a parent?
2. Least favorite?
3. How long has it been since you've had sex?
4. What is your ideal way to spend your spare time?
5. Marriage, or bachelorhood?
6. Wine or Beer?

2005-08-11T15:19:00.000-04:00
Questions for RITCH75:

1. Do you hate all americans or just the tourists?
2. What is the thing that you despise most about England?
3. Are you single?
4. How hairy is your chest? (I hear brits have hairy chests?)
5. Define the following word: supercalafragalisticexpealadocious
6. What does it take to make you laugh?

I think....just maybe...I should call AH or ET...maybe the need interviewers...LOL

Thanks for playing RITCH

2005-08-11T15:03:00.000-04:00
This is for the girls....

Inside every older lady is a younger lady -- wondering what the hell happened.

-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

-Janette Barber-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

-Lily Tomlin-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

-Carrie Snow-

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

-Laurie Kuslansky-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

-Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

-Bette Davis-

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

-Rhonda Hansome-

The phrase "working mother"! is redundant.

-Jane Sellman-

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.

-Jennifer Unlimited-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

-Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

-Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.

-Jennifer Unlimited-

If ! you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

-Catherine-

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME

slow!

-Kathy Buckley-

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.

-Dolly Parton-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

-Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country..

-Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

-Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.

-Margaret Thatcher-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

-Gloria Steinem-

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.

-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

2005-08-11T09:45:00.000-04:00
Questions for Becky:

1. What is the one thing that Chris does that annoys you the most?
2. What is your favorite color?
3. Which of your dogs do you like better?
4. How would you react if Chris wanted to move to a nudist colony?
5. What would you change about your life if you could?
6. How much time do you spend blogging at work?

2005-08-11T08:55:00.000-04:00
I've been interviewd by RITCH75

1. What would you do if your Mum walked into your place of work naked?
Shoot Her
2. If you could change anypart of your next door neighbours life what would it be?
That her mortgage would be paid off
3. Round or square?
Round
4 Mexico or Canada?
Mexico
5When was the last time you made love as opposed to having sex?
Hmmmm....not sure...too long to remember...any volunteers? ;-)
6. Define the following: Tom Hanks, Berlin, Shoes, Beards, Scooby-Doo, swinging.
Tom Hanks: Woody from Toy Story
Berlin: A state in Germany, and a town in Connecticut
Shoes: A girls best friend or worst enemy
Beards: Prickly - so shave dammit
Scooby Doo: A mystery solving pooch, who talks funny, and is very
scared
Swinging: The acting of moving your body forth and back again, also
defined as trading sexual partners

Here are the rules for the interview game:

These are the rules of the interview game (as found on other blogs)
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below with the :`Interview me right know...
2. I will respond by asking you six questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers.
4. You will include the explanation in the same post.
5. When others ask tobe interviewed, you will ask them six questions.

Next?????????????

2005-08-10T22:09:00.000-04:00
STRANGE FOLKS...

I recently had a conversation w/ someone about the strange folks who frequent Starbucks. I love Starbucks. I would marry it if possible. They kinda suck b/c they don't franchise, and I want one, but in general, I love them. So whats with the folks that hang out there? In my office building, luckily there is a Starbucks in it.

So, Starbucks has tables outside. When I feel like grabbing a coffee, and get in some good "parrallel parker watching", I'll sit there. So there are a couple of whack jobs that hang around too. I'm not sure why, but they do. Honestly, they are fun to watch too. But there's one person in particular that I'm here to talk about....aptly named "No eye concact guy".

Where do I start?? Dude's strange. He doesn't come off as your run of the mill homeless joe. He looks clean. Clean clothes. Denim jeans, (not dirty). Hair dark, curly, nothing nesting in it. Boots that don't talk, and a black t-shirt. Sometimes the t-shirt has words, sometimes not. Don't think he smells, but I haven't gotten that close. He can obviously afford the coffee too. So lets see. He must sit in the same chair in front of Starbucks. Directly in line with the Hartford Courant newspaper machine. Which is kind of in line with a light pole. He's there late afternoon mostly, and even helps the barista's pack up the chairs and tables at closing time.

So...one day, my buddies, the mail carriers, were hanging out. I walk out side, and there's only one chair available. Right next to "no eye contact guy". (this is before I knew thats what he was called too). So immediately, the mail man, grabs the chair and has me sit w/ him and the other letter carriers. They all say, no no no, don't, thats no eye contact guy....I'm like, wow. Tell me why? no one knew. I keep forgetting to ask the barista's at Bux what the deal with him is. They've gotta speak to him, if he's cleaning up w/ them at closing...

So when he's not hanging out there, hes running. Across the street, and back again, and across..you get the picture. He not only does this at the intersection of my building, but some other places downtown. Strange....I guess people fear him for some reason...and it can't be the reason that I'm going to say...I'll get to that in a while.

My new years resolution was to be nicer to people. I gave that up after 2 days. But every now and then, I try it... I spoke to no eye contact guy. I told him good night as I walked out one day...it was like 7ish, and getting dark. I decided how stupid that was and proceeded to the bar across the street and went to a happy hour for a company I dont work for... So whatever. The guy didn't follow me, nor did he acknowledge me.

So back to the newspaper machine. It is in front of a light post, and apparently it wasn't centered or something, and he was moving it around. HFD pd, runs in, beats the guy down, and ships him off to the asylum. So he's been rather scarce lately. I mean, from what I've heard about this incident, the police were fucking brutal, for no reason. To me he just seems a little anal retentive. But what do I know? I really wonder what his story is......AP, based on his description, what do you think it is? LOL..

---FYI ORANGE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR AND ALL MY POSTS WILL BE IN THIS COLOR---

2005-08-10T10:01:00.000-04:00

Funny Shit!!! Thought I'd share!

2005-08-09T21:36:00.000-04:00
Starved...More Info

This is info I obtained from the FX website...www.fxnetworks.com

Thursday Nights, at 10pm (EST)

This is episode 1's synopsis (I haven't read the synopsis from episode 2...I will tune in on thurs...don't want to spoil it).

Four New Yorkers - Sam, Billie, Adam, and Dan, struggle with various eating diorders and lean on eachother for support. The Friends attend Belttighteners, a radical support group that takes an unconventional, harsh approach to recovery. To Billie's horror, Sam secretly Tries to Mod his date into a woman from a sultry TV commercial. Adam continues to shake down deliverymen for their food, and Dan struggles with his decision for bypass surgery.

This show is totally hilarious. I tuned in to seeing one of the characters projectile pucking in the street. I'm not really sure which one yet...but I know he was bulemic. There's physical comedy in this show that I just cannot do justice with words.

Anyway, eating disorders are very serious. I've never had one, and I don't care too. I am actually pretty damned satisfied w/ my body. I'm not tooo skinny, I'm not fat. I'm happy. I eat right and exercise to maintain it...I'm not getting any younger here... but prior to getting pregnant I weight 103, and I'm 5'4". Howard Stern would consider that perfect. But it was bad, I mean I'd be in a bikini and my ribs would be sticking out. However, I gained 65 pounds when I was pregnant...mostly water...but whatever. I remained chunky for some time after that. I eventually got off my ass, and lost the extra weight. I'm 12o now and happy w/ the way I look. Gone are the days that I was assless. I like having ass now...I'm not talking "holy ass" I'm talking just enough to fill out my jeans!! Having some meat on your bones isn't a sin.

I hate to sound like every other person in the world saying that we put too much emphasis on being thin, b/c we kinda do...but...we live in a country full of obesity. Its gross. I see extremely large folks eating like pigs, I mean, they could get healthier food from a pigs trough!!!! I'm not dead set on being overly thin. I'm deadset on seeing healthy folks, healthy to me isn't uber skinny, or uber fat. A happy medium!!

Yeah baby yeah!

2005-08-08T22:58:00.000-04:00
STARVED

My new favorite television show...Anyone else catch this? Its on FX. Its "seinfeldian" in a sense...

I don't have an eating disorder...never have, therefore I can't empathize with any of the characters in the show...but it is a comedy, and its really comedic. (Yea, I'm tired, I gotta get some sleep and find my vocabulary...)

I highly recommend this one!

2005-08-08T16:09:00.000-04:00

Cute but uncomfortable!!!

2005-08-08T11:43:00.000-04:00
GUILTY

Yes...I am guilty as charged, mind you these charges have been brought on by my self. I deserve this conviction...However, I cannot guarantee that I won't do it again. I'm a woman, its my nature.

After reading quite a few blogs, on what I'm going to call "womanisms". I'm guilty of one that has yet to be mentioned. You ready for it? Are you sure...I'm not quite sure that I'm ready to tell....but here goes.

Wearing shoes that are incredibly uncomfortable, but OH SO DAMNED CUTE!!!!! Yes, I do this on a daily basis. I love shoes. I can go shopping and buy 5 pair of the same shoe, in every color that is offered.

Why do I do this?? I haven't the faintest idea. I'm sure its because its the summer, and my feet love the summer. I can't help it, I have a problem. I'm not sure what to do about it.

So here's the problem. After a long day of working, and showing off my great shoes to the world, my feet ache, I mean really really really ache. So...I relax, kick my feet up, pretend I'm getting a foot massage. I feel better.

Tomorrow comes, I wake up, do my morning thing, and slap on the same pair of uncomfortable shoes, just because I want to see my feet smile? I'm not sure.

Feet in general are gross to me. They just are. Luckily enough, I have great feet, and Yes, I am allowed to wear shoes that show em off. I see some people strutting shoes that they just shouldn't. I posted about that, briefly, in my people watching post. Whatever....

Basically, I want to know why women do this? I seriously haven't figured out why I do it yet...hoping that someone can give me some insight. You don't see men walking around in some uncomfy-ass shoes, or uncomfy-ass anything, unless they are going to a wedding/funeral. And at that they bitch about it the whole time anyhow. Women, however, wear uncomfy-ass stuff all the time, and never bitch about it, at least until we get home, or in the car, or in private....

Not so sure about this now....very confused and disturbed.

2005-08-08T09:29:00.000-04:00
Thanks!!!!!

for the help guys! I've managed to link my favorite blogs. I can honestly say, I couldn't have done it without ya!!

I'll find something to bitch about soon! :-D

2005-08-07T21:49:00.000-04:00
HELP

OK guys...I'm having a blonde moment....

HOW THE HELL DO I LINK TO OTHER BLOGS ON MINE????

I'd like to link to all my favorite ones....and I feel stupid b/c I don't know how...

Any insight would rock.

Thanks

s

2005-08-05T13:07:00.000-04:00
Ode to my Mum

Right now I'm harboring some massive anger for my mother. Grrrrrr. But thanks to Jewish Guilt, I'm harboring some serious guilt too. I'm trying to figure out which should take precedence, Anger or Guilt.

Here's why:

Bitch emailed me, b/c she's got a beef with me all of a sudden. I know this lady knows how to use the god damned phone, so pick it up and fucking call me w/ the problem, address it face to face, you just don't email people *especially your kids* when there's an issue.

So, I read the email. Halfway through, I read between the lines "shar, i just want to be a bigger part of your life". Onset of guilt right here. So here I am trying to figure out why she feels this way. I see her a few times a week, (wayyy more than I can handle). But I do make an effort. So fucking what if I don't come everyday, everytime I do show up, I have to dole out cash to her anyhow, and she wonders why I feel like shes a burden. I'm thinking of ways that I can have her be a bigger part of my life. Yea, there's none. She asks why she can't come over to my house...because you don't drive on the highway. We live like 40 miles apart. I hate driving. It would take 2 hours of my day to drive to get her, and bring her to my house, and get her home. Its a pain in the arse. I swear.

So now, back to the anger. I guess she thinks I'm her personal bank account or something. I posted a comment on someone's site about not feeling pity for the poor who CAN do for themselfs but just DON'T. Yes, My mother is included in that one. WTF lady, get a damned job. Don't bitch at me b/c I bought new shoes, when I'm working 70/hrs a week, while you sit on your arse and watch Oprah.

Back to the guilt: She's old. She's alone. She's jobless.

Anger: She's got 5 fucking kids, and I'm the ONLY ONE SHE EVER ASKS FOR ANYTHING. AT THAT, she never comes right out and asks for it. You have to assume she needs something, and automatically provide it for her.

Guilt: I could do more for her.

Anger: WHY ME

Guilt: She's old, and I probly dont have 40 years to get over it.

Guilt: I forward her calls to voicemail 50% of the time.

Guilt: She's a good grandmother to Dylan, and he loves her.

Anger: I'm not going to pull him from school just so you can dilly dallie w/ him

Anger: She thinks she knows me, and my life, and proceeds to tell my sisters a bunch of bullshit, and they call me and ask me WTF

Anger: She's manipulative....she's possibly munipulating me right now....evil evil evil

Guilt: She's got nothing else better to do.

Anger: I've got my own life too.

End Result: Me bitching about this here, and going to visit my mother after work, and probably enable her more. (at least I know whats going to happen right? he he)

2005-08-04T22:07:00.000-04:00

Me I like my hair in this picture...

2005-08-02T22:23:00.000-04:00
KIDS

Is it wrong to hate a child? Not my own child, of course, but Dylan's friend. He was tolerable when they first became friends...but it's been over a year now, and he's unbearable. I'm not the only person to feel this way about this child. Some neighbors have even said the same thing.

Let me try to describe how annoying he is. He's puny. He's a tiny little 5 year old, with a tiny little voice. Sure, at first you think its cute. Then it becomes grating. Sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard, repeatedly. And he doesn't shut up. Even if he's not playing w/ my son, I can hear him terrorizing other kids in the neighborhood...Great.

He screams. He yells. He bitches. He thinks he's 10. He thinks he can piss on everyone. He has no supervision. Parents aren't around. So an older sibling watches him. Sure, watches him from the basement. While he's riding his bike in the street. Sadly enough, if I'm home, I keep an eye on him, b/c I know that no one else is really watching. (its a mom thing). I wonder if its wrong to despise him? I think it is, but I can't help it. I really can't help it. I took him and my son for a bike ride. He decided that he wanted to crash his bike into Dylan, then go home. I took care of Dyl, then we decided to go home, and see where he went. He was at his house, saw his bike in the front yard. Stopped by his house to make sure he was OK, and to get an apology. This is what I got "He deserved it, now get out of my yard". I actually imagined picking him up and stuffing him in his trash can. That would have been fun. At anyrate, I told him that he's no longer allowed to play with Dylan if he didn't apologize to him. So he did, and all is fine and dandy....

BUT he still annoys me. I took great pleasure in another incident that happend this weekend. The boy was over swimming w/ dylan (6inch deep pool, i'm not rich LOL). So they had a bucket in the pool too. They filled it with water, and decided to play fear factor. So for this "stunt" they had to stick their head in the bucket and retrieve a fake fish at the bottom. I'm watching all of this take place. So, it was now the boy's turn to go. He gets his goggles on, takes a deep breath, and in he goes. The next few moments are sooo perfect...

Dylan proceeds to hold this kids head underwater (like a half a second, but for me, it was an eternity in heaven), and Dyl is screaming, Fear Factor Style. Perfect. Perfect Perfect.

DISCLAIMER: IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM, DO I EVER INTEND ON HURTING THIS CHILD OR ANY CHILD. EVER. I AM A GOOD MOM, AND A GOOD PERSON (OK THE GOOD PERSON THING MAY BE FAR FETCHED, BUT I AM A GOOD MOM). I DO NOT WISH HURTFUL THINGS ON THIS CHILD OR ANY CHILD. THIS POST IS WORDS, AND WORDS ONLY, AND IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. EVERYONE WITH A CHILD KNOWS THAT THERE IS ALWAYS AT LEAST ONE FRIEND IN YOUR CHILDS LIFE, THAT YOU FEEL THEY COULD DO WITHOUT. AND THAT YOU ABHORE. HOWEVER ANNYOING THIS CHILD IS, MY SON IS WELCOME TO PLAY W/ HIM, W/ MY SUPERVISION. I HOLD MY TONGUE, I AM NICE TO HIM. HE IS A CHILD. IF ANYTHING, I SHOULD TALK TO HIS PARENTS ABOUT THEIR PARENTING. BUT THAT TOO IS NOT MY PLACE. I CAN TRY TO MOLD THE PAIN IN THE ASS TO BE A STAND UP GUY, BUT I THINK HE'S TOO FAR GONE, BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM TRYING.

2005-08-01T21:47:00.000-04:00
Misc....

I have nothing really interesting to say. I can't even fake it today, this is sooo unlike me.

Nothing has truly inspired me to write about it yet. Except, I, like Rebecca, have gotten my monthly visitor. Its gotta explain the lethargic feeling thats been hovering over me like body odor on a homeless person. Today, for lunch, I ate buffalo wings, and Chips Ahoy chocolate cookies, followed by 5 tums ex. I'm really going to pay for this later. My breakfast consisted of a Hershey Bar w/ Almonds, 1500mg of tylenol, and a diet pepsi. I'm really going to pay for this later. I slept for a total of 24 hours this past weekend. I slept for 50% of the weekend. The other half I spent drinking. And It was great. Maybe I'm still hung over. I'm not really sure. I cannot tell the difference between menstral headaches and hangover headaches. Is there even a difference.

grrrr.

2005-07-29T11:56:00.000-04:00
FYI

Truly Muslim, fully American
(I could post my thoughts at the end, but this article is pretty long)

Byline: Fatina Abdrabboh
Date: 07/28/2005
(CAMBRIDGE, MASS.)"I condemn terrorism." Lately, because I'm a Muslim, these are the only
three words people seem to want to hear come out of my mouth. Beyond
the words themselves, the way I proclaim them is measured for
sincerity. Perhaps even more than the days immediately after 9/11, I as
a Muslim feel now that many of my fellow Americans believe that Islam
and its adherents are evil, pure and simple.
I can't help wondering if the fact that I'm identifiably Muslim through
my hijab, or scarf, is so potent that the only response I evoke is
anger.
Thinking through recent incidents, I try to assess the validity of my
feelings - am I overreacting, or paranoid?
Last month, while driving home from the airport, I managed to get lost
in construction detours. I rolled down my window and asked a woman in
the car next to me for directions: "Will this road take me into
Cambridge?" I couldn't believe my eyes when she ignored my question and
rolled up her window.
It was broad daylight. I had not - before then - considered my
appearance frightening or abnormal. Apparently shedid.
Another incident: I recently participated in a phone-a-thon for a
religious studies program at Harvard. A friend tapped my shoulder and
said her caller wanted to speak with a Muslim. I took the phone. It
turned out the man was a preacher from Texas and wanted to know when
Muslims "were going to join the rest of the enlightened world and rid
themselves of fanaticism." I tried to explain that the matter was far
more complicated than simply blaming the beliefs of a billion people
and that it was misguided to blame Islam for the actions of its fringe
extremists. The preacher interrupted me and said I sounded like "every
other wishy-washy" Muslim ambiguous about condemning terrorism.
Needless to say, he didn't donate to the program.
Why is my stance on terrorism my only defining feature? Casual
conversations at the grocery store, the gym, the dry cleaner all seem
laser-guided, by the way I look, to Islam and terrorism - and never to
those everyday conversations that might revolve around other aspects of
my life like how I like my Harvard classes, my training for the Boston
Marathon, or my recent obsession with my stock portfolio.
I desperately try to shrug these incidents off as I focus on school and
training for the marathon. But these incidents don't seem to be
isolated - and, indeed, have intensified just since the July 7 suicide
bombings in London and last week's attempted bombings there. Columnists
in many of our nation's most influential newspapers focused on the Arab
and Muslim response to the attacks. They castigated Arab and Muslim
Americans for not publicly condemning terrorism - as if, in addition to
the condemnations Muslim groups have indeed issued in days since 7/7,
we're expected to march in the streets of New York, Washington, and
Boston and chant, "We hate Bin Laden, too."
But I wonder if - given the fearful environment - that would be enough
of an "unequivocal" condemnation.
What would people think if I told them that I did not ride the subway
for one month after our faux pas at Abu Ghraib out of fear that
retaliation against the US would be directed at our subway systems?
I, too, am vulnerable as an American. The terrorists in London didn't
care about Shahara Islam, a young Muslim woman killed in the attacks.
Do Americans not recognize the dark irony of Shahara's last name? They
didn't care about her. And I'm no different: Terrorists intent on
blowing up the train I'm riding will not care that I'm a Muslim. They
won't be deterred by the sight of me on a subway seat with my
Arabic-printedbags from a halal meat market, as I try to keep close to
Islamic dietary prescriptions.
And that is the point: Terrorism is not about Islam; it is about a
perverse agenda being paraded through the Muslim world under the banner
of my faith. Why then should Muslims in America have to condemn it all
the time?
Just because we don't wear T-shirts that say "Muslims condemn
terrorism" doesn't mean we don't abhor such acts. Yes, there's an
increased obligation for Arabs and Muslims to fulfill their
responsibility as American citizens to integrate with the broader
community, and most undoubtedly have.
But I believe the role we play should be characterized by positive
rather than negative resonance. I've chosen to live by this philosophy:
It's not my job to tell you what I am not, but rather what I am. I
offer others not what I hate, but what I love, such as what America
stands for, in principle. And most important, I choose not to tell but
to show others what I represent as a Muslim. It is essential that our
discussions as Americans break out of the skewed dialectic on Islam.
Of course not everybody reacts to Muslims this way. But I'm convinced
it's the reality - not my paranoid view - that many do. I'm optimistic
that as a nation we can move beyond stereotypes and embrace the
millions of Muslims in America - that we can break down the crazy
expectation that someone like me who wears hijab cannot possibly be
"fully" American.
The thought of a veiled woman listening to rock and roll on an iPod
mini, jogging near the Charles River at night, or playing the guitar
need not be far-fetched. I do all of the above.
I categorically condemn terrorism. Now, will my fellow citizens in
America hear more of what I have to say? Will America embrace me for
who I am - a practicing Muslim, an ardent debater, and an aspiring
public servant?
Most important, will they recognize that I'm fully American?
* Fatina Abdrabboh, born and raised in Dearborn Mich., is a student at
Harvard University's John F. Kennedy School of Government.

(c) Copyright 2005 The Christian Science Monitor. All rights reserved.

This is a fantastic article that a muslim friend of mine sent to me.

2005-07-28T13:55:00.000-04:00
My Coffee Cup Has Hair

Yepp. MY coffee cup has hair. Gross. You other office workers know what this is like. You know, you leave your cup on your desk for a few weeks...and it then becomes part of the scenery. You become used to seeing it there, and its presence doesn't alarm you at all. Well, I am moldophobic. Anything that has spores freaks me out! Mushrooms, mold, anything.

This is how it happened. I have this stainless steel "travel" coffee cup. Its the one that gets me from home to work in one piece. (There isn't a Starbucks on my way to work, until I get here). So that is how I survive the long commute. One day, I brought my trusty cup upstairs to work with me, as I hadn't finished the entire drink yet. I got to my desk, and left it there. For the past 4 months. It became invisible to me. I'd see it, yet I'd not think of what could be growing inside....I ususally drink the entire cup, so I guess I wasn't too worried.

Today is the day, that I planned on dusting all the stuff on my desk, the monitor, the keyborad, the photos. Everything. This place collects dust. Dust even collected on my coffee cup. Rather than dust it, I decided that I should probably wash it. The kitchen is far away from my cubicle. So as I'm walking down the long hallway to get to the kitchen, I decide to begin to open the cup.

Hmmm...this is on really really good. I stop walking, and focus my efforts on opening the cup. Finally I get the cup open. I peer inside (how stupid).

I look toward the bottom of the cup first. I see a giant hunk of mold. It was white and green. It looked like it had mold moles. After further consideration of what this could possibly be from. It dawned on me...this giant hunk was the milk. After some time, the milk in the coffee begins to separate...this is what it was. A huge mound of rotten, moldy milk.

Now that I've figured out what that was, I noticed that there was still wet coffee water in the cup too. That one was easy to guess. But then, my eyes ventured upward to see what else was lurking. So midway up. I see what resembles green hair growing from the top down. I'd rathern not figure out what it was, so I'm just going to call it mold. I then decided to look in the lid of the cup....More moldy stuff. But the stuff at the top looked like it was oozing. D-scusting.

I am appalled at myself for letting this happen. I have been sitting in my cubicle breathing in spores for that past 4 months. I feel dirty. Could mold be growing in my trachea? in my lungs? who knows? I've sucessfully sanitized every thing that is in my cube, in hopes that I've killed any remaining sports. Thank you Clorox Bleach.

2005-07-27T09:44:00.000-04:00
People Watching

The best damn sport ever!!! I used to believe that the best 'field' for people watching was an airport, any airport, but the larger ones used to work better. That has all changed now. The best place for people watching is: The lobby of my office building. The problem with airports is that I've realized that most of the people you are watching are frustrated, tired, foreign, or southern, so there is a viable explantion for their oddities. However, in my office building, 98% of the people work here, therefore, they should all be clones of one another. Sooo not the case.

Here are some of my findings:

Flats (shoes) should be outlawed and cast back into the 80's. They aren't coming back, ever.
Denim dresses are not appropriate work attire (especially when paired with a white T-shirt).
Spare us the socks and sandals, please.
People with large backsides should not wear patterned anything, especially if the pattern is small, and repeats often.
Leave chivalry in the 17th century, and get your arse off the elevator.
Wear shoes that you can walk in, save the stilettos.
Blue eyeshadow, enough said.
Hawaiian-looking shirts are for the beach
Ironing has become a lost artform
Sneakers and dresses, sneakers and work clothes, sneakers and shirts, knee high socks and sneakers - makes your legs look bigger ladies.
Elastic wastebands, and a tucked in T-shirt, w/ flats, save that for shopping at wal-mart
The stainless steel elevator doors are not mirrors, neither are the glass doors and windows
If you don't push, the revolving door will not move, and I will push, and you will get hurt.
I will also close the elevator doors in your face.
Seems like I'm missing quite a few things here....
This next part applies to the other 2% of the people who lurk in the buidling:
You smell
Don't go thru the ashtray looking for butts when there are people standing there
Yes, I am going to finish my coffee
The air conditioning does feel good compared to outside, but I hear its also cooler under the underpass
If you can't get your shopping cart thru the revolving door, leave it outside
Maybe your husband is cheating w/ his assitant, go up there and find out, don't sit here and cry about it
Bike messengers aren't bums
Mommy or Daddy work here, it's not the mall honey
Yes, you can push all the buttons in the elevator - takes me longer to get back to work
I guess thats it for now. I can't really think. Maybe I should get some work done.

2005-07-25T07:10:00.000-04:00
OK, I know I'm in the middle of a debate series...But I have something that I need to get off my chest...

I hate 42 year old men who live at home w/ their parents.

A friends brother is 42, and lives at home w/ his elderly parents. This guy has some money saved, but that's because he spends nothing. He's such a mooch its pathetic. His mother still pays for gas in his car. He can do NOTHING for himself. He doesn't cook, clean, or do the dishes. After a meal, that his mother prepared for him, when done, he just pushes his dishes to the center of the table, and walks off. He doesn't wear deodorant. He doens't use the A/C in his car for fear of burning gas. When he pays for gas, he brings pennies - thinking that this will irritate the gas station enough for them to bring the price down. He's obsessive about his ever thining hair. He expects a woman to fall out of the sky and into his lap. Thinks that the people around him owe him something. He'll come to your house and break things. (Day we closed on our house, he came over, and broke the thermostat). Takes credit for doing things, when we all know he does nothing (yes, he created the world). Hates people who have fun, wishes death on them even. Has a huge nose, and thats not even that bad compared to his own stench. Too bad he can't smell himself, or he'd be in trouble.

Lets talk deodorant.....Imagine your the person who sits in the cubicle behind him...It gets pretty hot here in CT sometimes. Even at 8 am, when he commutes to work, it can be really nasty outside. So...this person, refuses to use the A/C in his car b/c he doesn't want to burn gas. Imgaine what he smells like at 9am. after a half hour or longer commute, in the humidity.
Smells like he just finished running a marathon. Great. I pity his coworkers.

Lets talk women...When your 42 and live at home, and expect to find a mate...do you have to be sooo selective...lets see the pre-requisites to date my stinky acquantance:

Super Model thin
Beautiful
Intelligent
No physical deformities
Must be a WASC (C stands for Catholic)
No kids
Divorcee's need not apply
Non smoker
Non drinker
Unopinionated
Great Job
Huge bank account
Domestic - will cook and clean, without any expectation of help or a thank you
Must be willing to live an incredibly boring life, and drive everywhere in your car, so he doesn't
miles on his
Have no faults (except the ones that he finds, and deems this woman unworthy)

I've been letting my hate for this man fester far too long. He and I actually got into a giant fight last night. Out of respect for his parents, I held my tongue (hardest thing I've ever had to do, I mean EVER). So, what stemmed this fight? Lets see...he was super pissy yesterday b/c a friend of his mothers decided to tell him what a useless fuck he really is. She told him, he needs to move out, and let his parents be old together. She really stuck it to him...every chance she could, she twisted the knife even more!!! (Thank You Martha). I wish I could have been there to witness it. He was soo pist all day. It was great. So I was talking w/ his mother and father. And we were talking about their neighbors. The neighbors are loud and drink a lot, BUT they are kind hearted people. One neighbor in particular, the one who lives right next door to them (the houses are close) really irritates this guy. Then, again, the neighbor would fix Mr. Perfect's car when asked. So, Mr. Perfect decides to wish death on this man. I'm like dude, thats cruel, I wouldn't wish death on anyone...He responded "you don't live here". I said, nope, but you don't have to either....he he he. That felt good to say, but he then said, OK you don't wish death on hitler. I'm like no, why should I, he's dead already. He kept egging me on, until it got to the point where we're telling eachother to fuck off, I took the high road - I left.

It was for me to leave without telling him how I really felt. His father asked me to not bring it up, ever. I respect that. Unfortunately, he still lives there.

I've decided, that I'm not going to speak to him, ever. I don't know if I can talk to him, without telling him what a fucker he is. I know I can't. I've known this family for almost 4 years now. Thats a long time to hold that kind of thing in. A really long time. I pity him. He's going to die old, lonely, hungry, and in a house of filth. If he ever comes to my house again, I will ask him to leave. He isn't respectful in my home anyway. We have a rule, that people don't wear shoes in my house (except the kitchen). What does he do? Wear his dirty reeboks in my living room, walking on my WHITE rug. Claiming his shoes are clean, they are new...HELLO YOUR MOM BOUGHT THEM FOR YOUR ON YOUR 40th Birthday?????? do you think he calls before he drops by? Nope. Never. Just shows up. I've stopped answering the door!! Rude, Yes. Feels good, Yes. Illegal, NOPE.

I guess I'm done bitching. If you are female, and meet the above requirements, let me know, I'll arrange something.

2005-07-22T22:17:00.000-04:00
Ok here's the first "question" in my debate series w/ ben:

This is from Ben:

do you think if someone is a bad father its because he doesnt want to be a good father or that he doesnt know how?..something a co-worker and i have been debating...i won..hehe..

Here is my rebuttal:

This one is easy for me, basically I feel that you are a bad father if you abandon your child. If you can't be a man and even try to be a father. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, right? You know my situation with Dylan. His father decided that he didn't want Dylan and I to come back from vacation...blah blah blah. So, essentially, he abandoned his duties as a father, and continues to do so. That is his choice, and I feel that he is not a father at all. All parents (Mother's included) aren't given a handbook on being a good parent. So basically, when the baby pops out we are clueless. I've learned what NOT to do as a parent from my own parents. Ha Ha. We know the basics...if that. If I wanted to, I could have given up on day 1, and to me, that would make me a horrible mother, a bad mother. But, thats not the case, and according to Dylan, I'm usually a good mom. I take pride in that. I take pride in the fact that I didn't give up. So in this case - not trying constitutes a bad father. Even if you don't know how to be a good father, trying to do so is half the battle.

NEXT??????????????

2005-07-21T22:16:00.000-04:00
Apparently the city's finest have apprehended our necrophiliac in training...he was an illegal immigrant, hanging out here for the past 10 days. I wonder if thats what they do in guatamala...do they rape 71 year old women?

today was a good day. I'm in the process of reconnecting with an old friend - you know who you are :-) thing is...since we haven't talked much in the past year, our debates kind of stink...ok, my argument has been stinking lately. So...since I have sooo many readers *sarcasm*...if you do read this...i'm going to post our debates. let me know your thoughts!!

2005-07-18T23:02:00.000-04:00
ok..just one more...

I just heard on the news that a 70+ year old woman was raped in her apartment.

WTF - Are you practicing to be a necrophiliac? or is there another name for it - almost necrophiliac? does anyone know?

Its gotta be that new KY AstroGlide stuff i hear all this middle agers talking about. Maybe thats what motivated our culprit?

2005-07-18T22:07:00.000-04:00
man. its been a while. Not sure what to say...short of my addiction to reading other blogs. I've decided, that I'm not going to follow suit w/ the others that i've read. I'm not going to post the 10 highlights of my day - b/c frankly, there are wayyyy more than 10. I'm not here to be funny, or for your reading enjoyment. I'm here to bitch. Yep, here to bitch. If ya don't like it, then skip this blog and read the next. However, if you enjoy reading about the boring goings on of a single mom in her early 20's (ok, i'm almost in my mids), then please read on....

Had a birthday last friday...man, i feel no different than I did the day before I turned 24. I chatted w/ a friend of mine who said she cried twice on her 24th. WTF??????? I mean, is your life totally unfulfilling that you cried when you turned 24? How horrible is it for you? seriously, you need to get out more. ha ha ha.... I say that, and I think, up until this point, my life - fulfiling enough. I'm not sad, I have no regrets thus far... at least I hope not. I'm not really old enough to regret things.

blah blah blah... some guy committed suicide last week - his method you ask ? propelling himself off the 10 story apartment building next to my parking garage, landing in the middle of tuesday morning traffic. First - I was sooo pissed b/c traffic was diverted all over the place. I had to go sooo far out of my way to get to the parking garage just b/c everyother street, is either one way, or you cant make a left onto it. argh. then...the city's finest had to keep the lights red for ooodles longer than it should have been. So during the time while I was waiting at one of the many red lights - I thought, damn, why can't they have the opening ceremony for the apt building after rush hour traffic. To my dismay - that wasn't the case. I walk out and see a bloody sheet covering a body in the middle of the street. oy. that wasn't pretty. So hell yeah, I'm grossed out. but get this - i get upstairs to my office, and peer out the window - have a perfect view of the police - putting sheets around so passers by cannot see the "crime scene"...get this - from my spot - I could see right over it. My whole office decided to watch. Nice huh? human nature is some freaky stuff sometimes. here we all are, watching, and bitching of how gross it is, yet we cannot even blink, for fear we may miss something....damn us humans he he.

whatever man. I feel bad...you wonder - what happens if you change your mind half way? no turning back. If I were to kill myself - I wouldn't go about it that way. I'd probly od on something - then I'd put a bag over my head. thats it. No, I haven't considered killing myself - I learned from TV. Thank you nip tuck!!!!! Member the episode where dr. troys lover decided that she wasn't going to let cancer take her life, that she'd rather do it herself? I miss that show...is it even on still?

Well folks, thats it for today...goodnite.